For some unknown reason, I decided to forego the Comtrex and drank a huge diet Coke, so I can't get to sleep and am drowning in my own snot. However, I do
feel better than I did last night, so by next year, I should be just peachy.
It being the middle of the night, it's time for some old-fashioned contemplative rambling.
I have a friend who doesn't like to give/receive presents to/from friends. They just never got into that with his friends, apparently. On Zargon XV where he's from. (I know you're reading, alien freak, and you're still getting one, though you don't deserve it!) On the one hand, this seems odd to me, as we always gave gifts in my group of friends. On the other hand, it saves money and helps avoid those awkward moments when your casual acquaintance gives you a hardback novel by an author you don't like and you sneak down to the bookstore to trade it in for cheap booze and cigarettes.
I haven't done any shopping for presents. My mom's been hounding me about "what I want" for New Years (which is when we exchange gifts, and this is why
), and I always say, "Nothing." When your realize (after following the link) that Russians call our Santa "Dead Morose," it won't be so shocking. Will it.
The thing is, though, "Nothing" is what I always say. I feel like I don't really want anything. Ever. All of my desires/wants/needs have been a flatline for so long. I don't want anything. I don't know really what I want. I don't know how to ask for it. I'm so terrified of being rejected about whatever it is, I'll make my request into a joke to cushion that blow of possible rejection. Then, no one takes it seriously.
I have to stop that shiznit. ( So, here's my list of things (I think) I really want, as of 3:30 a.m. on 12/27/02. )
I feel sleepy! Can it be time for an installment of "The whales have giant teeth?"