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aceofkittensLJ seems to be broken or down or maybe no one whose journals I have become *cough*addicted*cough* interested in is updating. Maybe I'm the only one.
Ohhh, yeah, who's your LJ writer? Who?
I'm still sad and it seems like nothing I can do can really snap me out of it. I think I feel unappreciated. Oh wow, there's an epiphany!
In terms of MUSHing, I feel tired and burned out. I poured out all this energy and creativity on this huge plot and twenty seconds after it's over, people are complaining they have nothing to do. And the people who aren't actively complaining, are as burned out as I am and can't muster the energy to do anything. So I have to ask myself, why exactly am I doing this again? High effort + low reward = why do I bother.
I guess I just want someone to spontaneously tell me that I'm doing something right. Even if it's just my own internal monologue. That's not likely to happen.
During my deep conversation earlier, I joked to my friend that I'm in an abusive relationship with myself. Not to demean anyone who has actually been abused or make light of domestic violence, but...here's a typical day in the Ace of Kittens' world.
Ace: *slap*punch* Take that, you worthless sack of shit!
Ace: Just not the face! I deserve it though!
Ace: *wound*strike* And don't you forget it!
Ace: *crying*
Ace: Oh god, baby, I'm so sorry. I won't do it again.
Ace: You better not, because I'm leaving if you do!
Ace: I won't, I promise!
Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
Ohhh, yeah, who's your LJ writer? Who?
I'm still sad and it seems like nothing I can do can really snap me out of it. I think I feel unappreciated. Oh wow, there's an epiphany!
In terms of MUSHing, I feel tired and burned out. I poured out all this energy and creativity on this huge plot and twenty seconds after it's over, people are complaining they have nothing to do. And the people who aren't actively complaining, are as burned out as I am and can't muster the energy to do anything. So I have to ask myself, why exactly am I doing this again? High effort + low reward = why do I bother.
I guess I just want someone to spontaneously tell me that I'm doing something right. Even if it's just my own internal monologue. That's not likely to happen.
During my deep conversation earlier, I joked to my friend that I'm in an abusive relationship with myself. Not to demean anyone who has actually been abused or make light of domestic violence, but...here's a typical day in the Ace of Kittens' world.
Ace: *slap*punch* Take that, you worthless sack of shit!
Ace: Just not the face! I deserve it though!
Ace: *wound*strike* And don't you forget it!
Ace: *crying*
Ace: Oh god, baby, I'm so sorry. I won't do it again.
Ace: You better not, because I'm leaving if you do!
Ace: I won't, I promise!
Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
