Baby Steps

I left the house today!

I know that doesn't seem like a really big accomplishment, but it was! Now, I am not afraid of leaving the house, or anything like that, but left to my own devices, I just don't. I sit around, stewing unproductively. Basically, it's not that I can't leave the house. I just don't want to.

Some might call this "depression."

Today, I left the house, ran all my errands, and went to the gym. Now, here's the thing. There was a time when, rain or shine, I went to the gym, every day. Every day, for years and years. I loved the gym. Sometimes, I'd go twice. I was thinner back then. Then I got a job with really erratic, unpredictable hours and the gym fell by the wayside. And I got lazy. And there you go.

What is the meaning of all this?

Well, last week, I started taking 5-HTP on the advice of one of my friends. It's a natural serotonin supplement. It's supposed to give you weird dreams. For the first week, nothing. In fact, I've been just as depressed than usual. Over the weekend, I finally got the weird dreams. The one about the Starks of Winterfell taking over an abandoned print warehouse was the least of it.

Today, this sudden burst of activity. Coincidence?

Moley moley moley

TMI Warning! Not for the easily grossed out!

So, earlier this evening, I found myself picking at what I thought was a pimple on my shoulder. Pick pick pick. Pick pick pick. It just wasn't behaving the way a blemish ought to. How unsatisfying!

Then I looked at it. Ah. Well. That would be because it was a mole! A bleeding mole now hanging gruesomely from my shoulder, clinging for dear life. So then it bled copiously some more. I've never seen this mole before. A new mole? And now, a very dead mole. Disgusting.

5-HTP is now making me overwhelmingly sleepy. I think I can live with that if it means I'll actually get stuff done.