Bra shopping: Dante's 10th circle of hell

[aceofkittens]

It has been a very long time since your trusted servant aceofkittens last went through the torment of bra shopping. (And I didn't even buy any back then!) At this point, I've achieved "Critical tits," in that all my bras are so old and worn out that I have to wear two pairs at once to get any sort of support.

Yesterday, I gritted my teeth and set out to buy some new bras. I figured I would call upon the licensed bra-ologists at certain key retail establishments and hopefully come out the other side of this fierce battle with at least one decent piece of boob-support.

Apparently, a memo has been issued that all bras must henceforth be hideously ugly as well as unspeakably expensive. Also, three different stores = three different bra measurements. My amazing telescoping boobs are working overtime.

So, the "department store" bra-shopping experiment was a total bust. Pun intended. Tonight, I will go to (c)Ross Dress For Less. The bras are just as ugly there, but at least they don't cost you your monthly salary.

Comments

[subtly-modded.livejournal.com]

omg tell me about it. i found *one* style of *one* brand that had just been discontinued last time i went bra shopping. i bought 4 of 'em and haven't found any more since. DIRTY BASTARDS!

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

It's really pissing me off. My Invisible Boyfriend was like: "BTW, don't think I haven't noticed that you're wearing 2 bras at a time when you leave the house. Please, for the love of god, buy yourself some bras that actually fit." I'm all, "I WISH I COULD FIND SOMETHING!!!"

[subtly-modded.livejournal.com]

dear invisible boyfriend: come with me then, you scurvy bastard! then you'll see the perils of the bust!

[iamfourninjas.livejournal.com]

Seeing the perils of the bust does NOT sound like a bad thing.

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

The Perils of Bustline... a classic! :)

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

You know, up until fairly recently, my mom used to just go to Ross and buy me bras. She stopped doing this because she became unsure of my size. And while she obviously didn't always get it right, at least I didn't have to go through the agony myself. Maybe I should send MIB in with $50 and tell him to bring me back some bras. :)

[raptorboy.livejournal.com]

LOL at "critical tits"

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

:) It's so true though. My boobs are like a drunken hobo: down & out.

[dedopossum.livejournal.com]

Do your boobs hang low
do they wobble to & fro
can you tie them in a knot
can you tie them in a bow
can you thrown them over your shoulder
like a continental sodlier
do your boobs hang low

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

Yeah... though I know some people stuff their bras!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!

[dedopossum.livejournal.com]

I always have trouble getting one that fits, so the last time I went bra shopping I had myself fitted. She said I was an A or a B, band size 34 or 36. Yeah, that narrows it down, thanks. I decided to be patient & do it right. I tried on every style they had in at least 2 sizes. I found 1 that kind of fit.
Nothing pisses me off more than bra shopping.

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

Nothing pisses me off more than bra shopping.

Same here. It's so frustrating. I tried on all three sizes that apparently I could be, and it's the same thing - nothing really fit right or it looked bad once I put my shirt back on, etc. GAAAH!

[saladbar.livejournal.com]

I can find bras that fit, I just pull them off the rack.

But they always look lumpy after the first wash. Don't tell me I have to handwash those suckers. I'll stick them in the dishwasher instead.

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

Handwash? Oh shit. Well, that explains a lot. :P

[vaznetti]

If you come to England, we will go bra shopping at M&S, and I will buy you three bras as a birthday present. The old women there measure you up and everything, and since everything is the same brand, it doesn't matter if the measurment's no good anywhere else.

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

Well, I think that's reason enough to come to England, right there!!! :)

[mango-king.livejournal.com]

Dear me - telescoping boobs?!?!?! This is a very serious situation indeed; why must boob support be so darn complicated?

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

I know, it's such a hassle. Ultimately, I think I need Vegas-like "Showgirl" bras... with tassels and sequins. :)

[mango-king.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can totally see you in festive bras!

[trollpete.livejournal.com]

chainmail with adjustable links?

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I need a bit more support than that. :)

[wasseleen.livejournal.com]

OMG! I am so glad you shared this story. I am so having the same issues, and I was just thinking to myself that maybe I should break down and have myself measured since I never did that before. Someone lied to me and told me that after having a baby and breastfeeding you'll lose your boobs. LIARS!! I even buy expensive bras, but trying them on in the store for a couple of minutes doesn't constitute how they're gonna hold up for 12+ hours of wearing. Half my bras have me coming out the bottom, the other half have me coming out the top. I think it's time I hire someone to walk around behind me, with their arms around me, holding my boobs in place. That has to be a cheaper solutions than buying new bras!!

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

I think it's time I hire someone to walk around behind me, with their arms around me, holding my boobs in place.

My invisible boyfriend (MIB) often volunteers for that job. ;)

But yeah... that coming out the top/the bottom thing is happening to me. I'm busting out all over! :P